I injured my leg and decided to enroll at a gym to help it get stronger. After three or four weeks I thought I’d maybe get some help via a personal trainer.

On the gym wall were the details of a dozen or more PTs who were available for hire. I chose a bloke because he was a BJJ practicioner, so I thought he’d understand the sort of functional mobility I was after. One phone call later and he agreed to meet me for an hour to do a preliminary session. We met, and he spent ninety minutes trying to sell me an anti-inflammatory diet programme.

For £360/month.

I told him that I paid £16/month for the gym. He dropped his price to £30/month. At no point did we discuss my leg injury or any exercises or techniques I could use to improve it. I have a pathological reaction to the hard sell. I walk. Every time. I’m polite about it but I never sign up. Not ever. If someone offered me £1 million to sign a form and then be given something I really wanted, but I had to sign it Now, I’d say no.

So I said no.

I went back to cycling. Which I’m enjoying very much.